Subconsciously your mind will respond to a negative world view by crippling your self-esteem and strangling your ability to leverage your skills and talents. Some people who go this route even kill themselves. I came close to this. After a major life trauma and almost two years of crippling depression, I was compiling a list of all the things I couldn't do or didn't have. I was using that list to justify why I did not deserve to live. Luckily, I had the thought...."I never thought of it that way before. Maybe it's the thought that is wrong, not me?" Questioning that one thought saved my life. I asked for help and started crawling out of the hole that I had dug.
Once you realize that your perceptions of reality are all you have to go with, the most sensible approach is to permanently rule out the idea of casting aspersions on your reality, since you’re the one who has to live in it. So what’s the alternative? Do the absolute best you can to cultivate a harmonious and supportive relationship with your reality. Settle for nothing less. Consciously choose to see the good in everything and everyone. If anything conflicts with your efforts, ignore it as best you can, and refocus your attention on re-establishing a harmonious and supportive relationship with reality. A practice for retraining your brain is available in Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins (see below). I did it and you can too!
If you want to upgrade your life experience, you must be the upgrader. This is not magical thinking. It merely requires taking full responsibility for how you relate to this reality. Since that relationship exists entirely within your mind, it is under your control.
No matter how much manure life's circumstance appear to have plopped into your existence, you can mix it up with who you are and create the fertile soil from which to grow a greater reality. You can only get help when you take the lead.
Step One-Meet the gardener
Take the Ten Day Mental Challenge. www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f34/the-ten-day-mental-challenge-rules-of-the-game-36198/
Step Two- Remove the rocks. If you become stuck in a negative thought and can't get it out of your head then ask and answer these two questions. Even better, have a friend ask you. [this is simplified version of The Work of Bryron Katie]
1) What thought do I have to believe in order to feel bad about this situation?
2) Can I absolutely know that is true?
The truth will set you free. Somebody big said that. Free from what? Lies and misery, I think. So if you are feeling shitty go ahead and ask. What do you have to lose?
I maintain the belief that reality is 100% on my side. This is not based on evidence. It is based on choice. The evidence comes after the choice, not the other way around. I even believe that reality conspires to go out of its way to help me. I see evidence of this constantly and this is what my experience of reality becomes. It is full of pleasant surprises.
