I spoke yesterday with a dear friend to catch up. She moved easily into her usual topic “what to do in life”, “how she can earn some money doing what she loves” and "finding her creative outlet.” This is a common urge from the creative soul, singing it’s song. The song is especially loud for a woman who has been intensely satisfied with the variety, excitement and connection of family life when her children were young (yes, this was me as well).
The education I have been getting in my coaching class (really Strategic Intervention) has changed how I view the entire, familiar process that my friend goes through during our conversations. Because she knows what I have been up to, I shared my thoughts with her and gave her an example from my own life of what is called the Crazy Eight. A pattern of swinging back and forth from one emotional extreme to another. In her case, it was the extreme of energetic excitement, hope and exploring possibilities on one side and the fear of physical limitations, monetary limitations and an general negativity, which easily lead to self berating on the other side.
What was so delightful about the whole thing was the simplicity and directness of her eventual honesty (aided by the fact that she was on some pain meds due to an injury!). She said, “Basically, I am just very content…... thanks for helping me see that.” With her defenses down she also said, “I am happy with my jobbie”, “I am not a career woman”, “I am a dabbler.” We were then able to discuss how this whole Crazy Eight pattern prevents her from facing the deeper issues of self that have given her an underlying sense of neglect and a strong desire to find and fit into a community.
So what lies beneath the "clutterbug?"
When I began labelling myself it was like putting my clutter into a box. It was easier to carry, but it wasn't organized. I encourage anyone who would like to open their boxes and face what's inside with a caring, compassionate and wholly experienced human being to do so. For more information you can email me directly at hartstein@comcast.net.
Ciao for Now!